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Too Soon ISIS, Too Soon

iraq

More often than not, the optimistic side of me likes to give potential foreign enemies the benefit of the doubt. They are just normally good people I say, fighting for a cause they believe in and what not. Or perhaps, they are just a patriotic individual serving their countries call to arms. I have interacted with various foreign cultures and I do believe it to be true that most cultures are full of people who want to live their lives and raise their families. But sometimes, just sometimes, this foreign group of fighters starts crucifying Christians, cutting off heads, and causing all sorts of distress in what we will call America’s most recent ex-girlfriend, namely Iraq.

You see here is the thing ISIS, or wanna be Caliphate, or whatever you want to be called, make no mistake about it, the US and Iraq are done. We tried to make it work, spent a decade hashing out disagreements, but in the end, sometimes you got to know when things just aren’t working. Truthfully, I think as far as we were concerned, we knew this Iraq thing wasn’t going to make it way early on. However, we didn’t want to leave her is such a distraught state that we hung in there, watched a few more movies with her, told her some sweet nothings just to get to the point where would feel comfortable breaking up with her.

We are not trying to have it both ways. I knew that Iraq would move on to other things. I figured this whole cozy relationship with Iran was just meant to make us jealous. But we didn’t care because honestly, we were seriously done with Iraq and if some cuddle time with Iran made Iraq feel better about it, then so be it. But then you have to walk in ISIS and let me tell you, it was too soon, way too soon. Despite my commitment to maintaining this separation from Iraq, I got to tell you, it really bothers me to see you walk in and start slapping what used to be my real estate around.

So now you have done it. Seriously, you have done it. We need to come bomb you and I am happy about that. You seem like an extraordinary level of evil. Not only do you go around killing indiscriminately, but you seemed to be having too good of a time doing it. And what really bothers me as much as any of it, is your apparent use of social media. For me, that tips things over the top towards a definite rendezvous some 500lb bombs. For now, not only are you being terrorist, but your being trolls. The world knows the last thing we need are terrorist trolls.

To be honest, I always wanted to bomb ISIS, I really did. My only hesitancy is that Iraq might get confused and think we want to get back with her. Iraq, I’m sorry, its just not like that. Just because I can’t stand by and watch this ISIS trash run rampant all over you doesn’t mean that I want to get back together. We are going to come in, bomb that bad guys and leave ok. Lets keep this simple. Granted, I thought we taught you a thing or two in our time together. Something about resolve, strength, and determination. But your complete capitulation to ISIS lets us know it didn’t take.  Just another sign our time together was not meant to be.

However, this is also for the peace of mind of Iraqi Vets everywhere. The wrapping up of this war was supposed to bring some sort of closure to our minds. Settle in our hearts that which we know in our minds is true. Iraq is over. But watching ISIS rampage across Iraq brings up too many feelings. Not enough feelings to go back out with your Iraq, ease up girl, don’t go that far. But just enough feelings to feel happy about some air strikes. I personally hope we go all Shock and Awe on ISIS. ISIS wants to get some Humvees and infrastructure in place, well guess what ISIS, blowing up standing Armies was always our first love. We just adapted to that terrorist hunting thing to make our girl happy at the time.   So Please President Obama, lets not go halfway with this airstrike thing. Shock and aww man lets run back to Syria is what we are trying to impress upon these people. After all, Syria was never our girlfriend and that is someone else problem.  Sometimes it seems like violence is a bad thing.  That is until people like ISIS remind us that we should be ready to be violent to visit violence upon those who would bring their violence to us.  Or in this case, our exes.

 

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Jeff Edwards