Prepping for the Mediocre Apocalypse

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We are going to take a small break from the Pick a Fight series to address a topic that has been requested. Perhaps it fits within the theme of Pick a Fight in that it involves fear and drawing lines in the sand. However, it really is a topic and niche in of itself. Namely, I bring you the topic of Prepping. Prepping is the art of preparing for the end of society, mass chaos, or supervolcano I guess. In any case, within prepping I see great wisdom and great paranoia. I see great public benefit and great pubic drain. There is indeed a mediocre level of prepping that I will suggest to all and fatal flaw in the mind of the prepper that I hope to expose.

First the good stuff. Prepping is smart. It’s smart for every individual and family. To be honest, it seems reckless not to prep to some degree. Hurricane Katrina, the LA riots, and the local famous Hurricane Elvis that hit Memphis in 2003 are just a few examples in my lifetime that I think highlight the need to prep. Consequently, if those events ring a bell in your mind, I’ll offer 3 suggestions that every family can do to prep.   There are better experts than me, but I think the blog title Unprecedented Mediocrity pretty much covers that.

  1. Water – Kroger sells gallons of water of a variety of brands for about $1 each. They are in fairly sturdy plastic jugs. Buy some. Seriously, no one is going to think you are crazy if you stock up on a handful of these. Buy 1 a week if you want. But everyone needs water. There are all sorts of better ways to store and buy it, but go to a prepper website and find that out. I am saying, stock up on a good number of gallon sized water jugs. You can fit it in your budget and when you need it, its there.
  2. Food – Buy some canned food. Yes you can go to Costco and buy huge bags of rice, that’s good too. But canned food is small and cheap. You won’t look crazy buying it. Tuna, SPAM, veggies, really whatever. But a lot of it is under a dollar. Just buy it, take it home, and put it in a backpack if need be. Most of its good for a couple of years, so check it once a year or so, eat the older, put in some new. But you would be surprised what simple food that keeps for a long time you can cheaply store up in a backpack. Plus, bread sandwiches dipped in milk taste like crap. So lay off the bread and milk.
  3. Gun – I put singular gun as for most purposes, singular will do. In an emergency, people get desperate and lots won’t have number 1 and 2. So your number 3 is there to protect your 1 and 2 for your family. Most preppers have lots of guns, but we will get to that in a minute. However, a gun just makes sense. It doesn’t take much for the police to be overwhelmed and they will not be rushing to your home when you call in that someone is stealing your SPAM. Let’s face it, if you don’t have a gun and Anderson Silva wants your SPAM, he is going to get your SPAM. So own a gun. Simple shotgun will do for most occasions.

Boom, there you go. 3 things you can do on any given day. The gun you buy once, and the food and water you pick up for a few bucks at the grocery store. Because here is the thing, preppers prep for supervolcanoes. You are prepping for that natural disaster or social unrest where you can’t make it to the store for a week. America and the social order are probably going to be fine. They just might take a week to get to you. So if you don’t HAVE to go out and brave The Purge for a week, don’t. Have chickens and stuff, even better, but have enough to make it a week or more and you probably will be fine for most events. Prepping seems odd to many, but prepping for a rough week just seems smart. Police can deal more with the bad guys if they are not having to rescue you from your sudden urge to by bread and milk.  Also without all the unprepared people running around looting and stuff, maybe the Government can have a chance to figure things out and come up with a plan.  So prepping to a degree is good.

Finally, a few thoughts for the super hard core preppers to consider.

  1. It’s not the guy with 100,000 rounds of ammo that will survive the apocalypse, it’s the 100 guys well organized with 100 rounds each. Because they will get your 100,000 rounds. So lone wolf preppers, dig in your cave all day if you want, while the rest of society organizes.
  2. Preppers who feel so confident in their preparations tend to disengage from the structures that’s support society at large. Kind of like when you want to break up with a girlfriend, it makes it a whole lot easier when you have a new girlfriend already lined up. The world used to be Mad Max beyond Thunderdome. It sucked as far as I can tell. So please stop glorifying post-apocalyptic life because it will finally give you a chance to try out your converted nuclear silo bunker.
  3. Christian Preppers face quite a dilemma. Do you continue to eat plentifully while others around you starve? Is the Gospel and evangelism on hold while you play Monopoly in your bunker? Tough questions. Or maybe, just maybe, America already is one big bunker while we are currently doing just that! Boom, mind blown.

But seriously, go buy some water and SPAM. Man I really should have worked out a marketing arrangement with Ozarka water and SPAM before this post. Missed opportunity.

Jeff Edwards