Last night, Donald Julius Trump gave a measured, controlled, and patriotic speech that had me feeling all motto in my special place. And yes, I know his middle name is not Julius but how cool would it be if it were? But what is remarkable about my reaction to this speech is that many of you know I was a #NeverTrump conservative. I always saw the guy as more circus than substance and he seemed to wear his character flaws like a badge of honor. But when he was elected, any concerns I had switched to hopeful optimism about the man because why not. It’s not about what policy you do or do not agree with, but rather is the man worthy of the office he holds. However, after last night’s speech I’m seeking to unite us former NeverTrumpers and the hardcore Red Trucker Hat aficionados. Because I think we can all stand united under one singular message that if the President of the United States were to willingly embrace America just might emerge into a new age of greatness. Basically, please drop the circus Donald because you can actually turn out to be a great President if you let yourself. Come on Julius, we know you got the juice in you to do this thing right.
Step 1: Delete Your D$#N Twitter Account
Donald Trump is indeed a fighter and I actually liked the way he called for unity with Democrats while still pointing at them as if he were going to beat them up at recess today. Then again, maybe he was just pointing out the awkwardness that so many ladies accidentally wore the same white dress to the speech. Awkward! The so-called “resistance” is going to do everything they can to stop Trump’s agenda and any president would be foolish to just lay down and take it. But Trump’s fighting words last night were measured, controlled, and Presidential.
But Trump on twitter is a different story. On one hand it’s nice to get a raw look at the instant emotions of POTUS, but it’s a problem those instant emotions come across like an angry child. POTUS should not care what the latest comedian is saying about, he shouldn’t care about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ratings, and he shouldn’t engage in twitter debates with foreign leaders. All of this is straight up Barnum and Bailey bearded lady circus garbage. And it’s got to go.
If Trump wants to control the narrative then he needs to control his mouth, or in this case thumbs. If the stories are correct, Trump’s campaign literally locked the dude out of his twitter account during the final days of the election. Even last night I could see the more comfortable he got, the more he seemed to go off script and I was all like “don’t do it Donald, just read the teleprompter!” Donald Trump is a hoot when he goes off script, but is also just as likely to start talking about his penis size. Last night, Trump rose to the office for which he holds and I am praying we get a little more of that in the future.
Step 2: Stop Telling Stupid Lies
All presidents lie of that I am certain, but is it too much to hope that they are at least trying to cover up an affair or something. I understand why Trump would lie about getting the pee pee treatment from a couple of Russian prostitutes. That’s fair game in my book. But lying about the size of inauguration crowds, alternative facts, and even the 3.5 million illegals who actually voted is straight up Ringling Brothers elephant in a dress circus garbage. Just stop it. It’s the press’ job to catch the President lying so maybe you just starve them by being honest about the stupid frivolous stuff.
Last night in Trump’s homerun of a speech he made some glowing promises. Make America great, rebuild our military, and speed up prescription drugs from research to market. Loved it. Then he also promised that America’s drug epidemic would slow down and ultimately stop. That’s right, Donald Trump promised to end America’s love affair with drugs which I can only assume means he plans for Jesus to return and I’m cool with that. Easy Donald, let’s start with the promises you can actually keep. But let’s take a sidebar into drugs will quick with Donald.
Leave pot alone. I can’t think of a more foolish path than for Trump to go the way of the buzzkill. Medical marijuana is doing wonders for all sorts of illnesses including Veterans with TBI and PTSD. I don’t personally use marijuana but I do live in a state where its 100% legal. Like literally electronic billboards and all. I feel perfectly safe and watching the grannies go in and out of the pot shops is hilarious. Leave it alone Donald, leave pot alone. But on a larger scale, just don’t lie about the stupid stuff and give the press a reason to crucify you over the definition of truth. Leave that circus at home with you cancelled twitter account.
Step 3: Actually Make America Great
I felt good about what I heard from Donald last night and had he taken that approach throughout the campaign I may never have jumped on the #NeverTrump train. I like that Trump was able to call out radical Islamic terrorism for what it actually is. I loved that Trump emphasized a commitment to our law enforcement officers who have been under assault from the progressive agenda. If Trump can negotiate better trade deals that’s great. If he can be the guy to make it so that you can purchase insurance across state lines that is terrific. Reducing burdensome regulations on business is super smart. But the stuff has to actually work Donald.
And yes, praising a fallen Navy SEAL in front of his wife is exactly what he should have done. The fact that Trump would invite the wife of the first casualty of his administration speaks volumes. There are those who called it a political ploy, but I just call it the right thing to do. Trump didn’t get that SEAL killed my friends and any reports to the contrary are just garbage. SEALs go dangerous places to do bad stuff to bad people and sometime they pay for it with their lives. It’s why we honor the fallen and any talk to that man’s wife about why his mission was a failure would be cruel circus garbage.
If Trump can be the President I saw last night, then the dude can really be great. Liberals may not like his policies and there are some I don’t like, but that’s just fair game in politics. But now comes the hard part for Julius and this is where he needs our help. He needs to leave the circus behind. So let us unify in our call for more of last night and less penis talk. No more lies about stupid stuff. No more late night tweets about comedians. And for love of Bea Arthur, don’t let us ever catch you eating a $100 steak well done with ketchup. What you do in the privacy of your own kitchen is up to you, but America will not abide such an embarrassment publically. Leave the circus behind for good brother and you might actually get this Never Trumper’s vote in 2020. Just be Presidential, keep Kelly Ann’s feet off the couch, listen to Mattis, and let’s see how this thing actually turns out.
If You Eat Your Steak Well Done with Ketchup Please Don’t Like the Unprecedented Mediocrity Page Below on Facebook Because You are a Horrible Person
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