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Listen Up World, Obama is Our Nerd and Only We Make Fun of Him

obama_bike

I’m no fan of Obama and that’s obvious, but am I the only one getting a little pissed off at how he is being treated worldwide?  Oh I know in an election season it’s easy to use this as fodder for your candidate of choice, but the man is still the President of the United States of America.  And I’m starting to think they are not mocking him as much as they are mocking us.  There was the debacle in China during the G-20 summit where he was not given the traditional head of state red carpet, the President of the Philippines called him the “son of a whore”, and then there is Vlad Putin who quite honestly, just needs to get his lunch handed to him.  Dudes a bully and America knows what to do with bullies.  Listen up world, Barrack Obama is our nerd and we know it.  We make fun of him because that is how we do American politics in a representative democracy.  Obama has taken a very academic approach to the world and that has paid dividends in some cases and others, not so much.  But the man, as much as it displeases me, represents us all and the world better show a little more respect for who he represents.  He is the nerd of the United States of America world and if you keep pushing, America is going to respond something like this below because I promise you that we have not forgotten how to fight.

Iranian Speed Boats

This is one of those things where I don’t know if Obama is playing it cool like that fat kid in the above video or if we have truly lost our nerve.  But dear lord, it certainly seems like Iran is asking for something.  You see, there is this part of me that really feels like Iran, likely via Russia, is literally trying to draw America into a fight.  On multiple occasions, little Iranian speed boats have harassed US ships in the Persian Gulf in what appears like an obvious coordinated from the top down strategy.  Every time I watch videos of it, I keep hoping and praying the US Navy just opens up on them all.  In fact, on my last trip to heaven, I told Admiral Chester Nimitz what was happening and this was his response.

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I understand the need to avoid open war over silly provocation, but here is the problem.  Just like a bully who continually tries to make you flinch with fake punches, you will never see it coming when they actually intend to punch.  Not that I am worried the Iranian fishing boats can best the US Navy, but they can cause damage and take lives.  We need to start backing these boats off and for more reason than one.  Part of me wishes we had some good old-fashioned battleships to just make anchor in the Persian Gulf and do their worst for the ghost of Chester Nimitz.

ChuckNorris

Listen, the only way to get a bully to back off is to fight.  It doesn’t even matter if you win, which we would in this case, but a bully is not looking for an actual fight.  I promise you, the kid who fights back every time and gets his butt kicked will eventually cease to be bullied.  We need to sink one of these freaking speed boats the next time it comes racing in.  I know that has huge implications, but either the US Navy is pre-eminent in the region or it is not.  I know I’m not an Admiral or President and they likely have a more accurate appraisal of the situation than a blog named Unprecedented Mediocrity.  However, I am a US citizen and I’m starting to get a little pissed with it and praying the US quickly acts like the fat kid in the video above.

Russia and China

And then honestly, with Russia it is the same thing via Vlad Putin.  It would appear that Putin has determined Barrack Obama will do nothing to thwart his aims short of an open attack on the United States.  As a result, Putin is running amuck.   Now, again I can’t really fault Obama for avoiding global thermo-nuclear war.  I’ve seen the 80’s movie War Games with a young Matthew Broderick and without a doubt, the only way to win is not to play.  However, there is no doubt that we are in another Cold War with Russia and Obama’s academic approach doesn’t seem to be winning out just yet.  Much of what we see happening in the world appears to be a result of this proxy war with Russia.  It’s as if Rocky’s bout in Russia and subsequent brain damage was all for nothing.

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I honestly don’t know what to think of Russia.  I see America taking punch after punch and again, there is hope that we are but the fat kid above ready to bring the pain.  But it’s not just Russia, it’s China in the South China Sea.  Ladies and gentlemen, I taught English in China and lived there for a while and I can tell you their population is ready for this fight.  Technologically they are not, but they are extremely nationalistic and as soon as the technology catches up it’s going down.  They are not building militarized islands in the middle of the ocean because they intend to walk away.  Either the US Navy is ready for what is to come or they are not.  But make no mistake, it’s coming.  Back to Obama.

He is Our Nerd

Hey, President of the Philippines!  Your mother is a whore and your father likely smelt of elderberries.  Once again, Obama is our nerd and only citizens of the United States can speak of him as such.  When you say that about the President of the United States, you are not talking about him.  Rather, you are talking about us.  And while granted, many of our moms may very well have gotten around quite easily we at least have our birth to thank for it.  Conservatives can use this as ammo against Obama’s world leadership in one hand just so long as they ball the other up in a fist and get a little righteous anger going.

In HBO’s mini-series, Rome, there was a scene where Julius Caesar was chasing Pompey in order to kill him.  However, Pompey landed in Egypt and the then Pharaoh took off Pompey’s head.  When the Pharaoh told Caesar he had beheaded the very man he was trying to kill, this was Caesar’s reaction.

Now I realize that is not entirely a historical account, but it’s how I feel at this point.  I don’t like much of what Barrack Obama has done, but he is the President of the United States.  We make fun of him and no one else.  Obama has taken a very academic approach to global affairs and it has paid dividends in some cases while others, not so much.  He’s a nerd, we get it world.  However, he’s our nerd and he has command of the greatest military to ever grace the earth.  There is a nationalist trend sweeping the globe at this point that I believe is inevitably leading the globe to war. We can dislike whoever our President may be at that moment, but we need to remind the earth that any President is a consult of Rome.  Mr. President of the Philippines, your mother is a whore.  And I don’t mean the high-class variety, but the lowly crack kind.  That’s right Mr. Philippine President, your mother is a crack whore.

Like the Unprecedented Mediocrity Page Below Because I Called the Philippine President’s Mother a Crack Whore and That’s Worth Something

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Jeff Edwards

3 Comments

  1. Write on Jeff. On the little Iranian teaser boats I agree, blow a few out of the water and see what happens, I think Adm. Nimitz and “Chesty” Puller would laugh like hell!!

  2. Obama is a joke – the reception he got at the summit was of his own making. This is how the world looks at all of us because of him .., So far as the Iranian Navy goes the rule book for dealing with this was written in the 50’s , 60’s and 70’s . A family friend served in the navy told of us and the Russians stearing right at each other’s ships. On encounter his ship and Ivan’s hulls scraped each other’s from stern to bow . All the while crews on both ships throw object at each other cans fire extinguishers and tool.

  3. I agree totally in principle. But, the problem is Mr. Obama thinks he’s too cool for us. That makes it hard to actively stick up for him. Tough to be empathetic to someone who’s too detached to know he’s being mocked.

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