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Hey Air Force Lady, Got Hit With an IED? Be a Lot Cooler If You Did.

Alicia Watkins Trump

About a week ago, the lady you see above was attending a Trump rally when she asked a question about hiring Veterans to which Trump then hired her on the spot.  It would be an amazing once in a lifetime experience I guess were it not for the fact that this genuine Veteran of the Air Force has been on Fox News, TLC show Say Yes to the Dress, and Oprah, twice.  For better or worse this lady has voluntarily injected herself into the media with claims of being a 9-11 Pentagon survivor as well as the survivor of an IED attack in Afghanistan making her a Purple Heart recipient.  Cool story bro, except Guardians of Valor and the Air Force Times are saying not so fast lady.  Did you get hit with an IED?  Be a lot cooler if you did.

Stolen Valor

Now, I have a disdain for Veterans running around questioning the service record and accounts of fellow Veterans every time they think they smell something fishy.  But I have great respect for the pros who get it right and that is why I love Guardians of Valor and the Stolen Valor Facebook page.  Stolen Valor is less about preventing every fat douche wannabe from stealing a 10% discount and more about ensuring the fidelity and integrity of what was earned and what was not.

Unprecedented-Mediocrity-AdSensev.2

That’s why you let the pros handle it.  I have had a couple of requests sent to me to “call out a poser” on this blog and I always refuse.  Go to Stolen Valor I tell them because I don’t have the time or resources to verify what I’m being told and I know how to stay in my lane.  When that NAACP lady who claimed to be black when she was actually super white hit the news I wrote the article, “Thanks to Rachel Dolezal I Self-Identify as Batman” because absurdity is my muse and that’s what I do here at Unprecedented Mediocrity.

But when it comes time to protect the public trust regarding Veterans then you need to head over to Stolen Valor and let them do their thing.  I actually had a guy who didn’t like my last article on GWOT Veterans and questioned my service record.  In a comment, he said he tried find something on my military service on the internet and suggested I was a poser because he couldn’t find anything.  How hurt and ashamed I was to find out that the internet didn’t have a military page dedicated to detailing the service record of a nobody Marine with one fairly benign deployment to Iraq.  I didn’t storm the streets of Fallujah or Ramadi, I didn’t get with an IED, but I’ll go ahead and admit that I’d be a lot cooler if I did.

Cool Story Lady

But let’s get back to Ms. Watkins.  I’m going to let the good people at Stolen Valor make the determination about her verbal accounts and I’m just going to offer commentary on the absurdity of her actions.  She reached out to Stolen Valor herself in an attempt to clear her name and then when they questioned her about the IED and Purple Heart, she shut them down and made references about suing them.  Lady, reaching out to Stolen Valor when you are knowingly lying about your military service is about as stupid as those people who call the police when someone steals their crack.  You just don’t do that.

Look, I get it that not everyone walks away from war with a cool story and there is a perverse temptation to craft one when you get home.  If you were a FOBBIT, or REMF for my Vietnam brothers, who never left the wire, it is not your fault you don’t have a better story of which to speak.  I mean, I guess you could have just Bowe Bergedal-ed it and walked out to make your own but I think after your 2nd or 3rd raping by the Taliban you would be questioning a few of your life decisions.  So that one mortar to which you were actually close enough to hear the boom becomes a hailstorm of death and destruction from which you barely escaped by the time you get home.  That’s just human nature, I get it, I don’t do that, but that is not really any of my business.

Alicia watkins military service

via huffingtonpost.com

Unless you sit your butt down on Oprah Winfrey and recount the tale to the whole world.  Now rather than trying to increase your chances of getting laid, you are defrauding the entire public trust.  I’m serious when I say I hope you were hit with an IED and I hope you do indeed rate a Purple Heart.  I hope your claims of being injured in 9-11 are equally accurate because you would be a lot cooler if you did.  Its not cool to lie about your military service but to have the balls to do it on national TV is absolutely fascinating.  Ms. Watkins, I wish you the best because you are indeed a Veteran and you were always worthy of respect for your service.  It never needed any embellishment and I am sorry you ever thought so.  Your life can move on after this, but Guardians of Valor are right to question your service as their interest is the public trust of us all.  Did you get hit with an IED lady?  Be a lot cooler if you did.

If You Were Ever Attacked by 1,000 Taliban in Baghdad while Dragons spewed Fire from the Sky, You’re the Type of Cool People we Like at Unprecedented Mediocrity so Like the Page below.

Jeff Edwards

10 Comments

  1. She lied for financial benefit. She was paid for her Oprah appearance. She was paid for her “Say yes to the dress” appearance. She lied. That is a crime and she should be charged.

  2. ” I didn’t storm the streets of Fallujah or Ramadi, I didn’t get with an IED, but I’ll go ahead and admit that I’d be a lot cooler if I did.” – No it isn’t cooler. You (and many others) picked up their life, did their duty – regardless of MOS or job detailed. And, I know for a fact, Jeff did it well – as did his comrades. That’s COOL. Yes, many saw more concentrated actions and they should be lauded, of course. But never trifle the sacrifices all those who participated made (we can, however, grin under our hand at those whose self worth is so fragile that they have to fantasize to make an impression on others). Be proud of your service, and don’t usurp the dignity and heroism of others. s/f Couv

  3. Back when I was in the Gulf War…we didn’t have IEDs! If we wanted to get blown up, we had to pick up the unexploded JDAM ordinance and stuff them in our OWN cargo pockets! You young GWOT whippersnappers had someone ELSE put your physical well-being in danger…we did it for OURSELVES…

    Dark humor…of course. Thanks for this article my brother in arms! Good stuff. I see way too many disabled vet tags on cars driven by obvious non-combat types.

    Rakkasan! (That is Airborne for “Semper Fi”)

    • Ha, us GWOt Vets had it so easy, we didn’t even know.

  4. Wow , you even have our former BN CO following you! Another great article Jeff.

  5. I’d like to give a plug to guys over at This Ain’t Hell for their work over the years on Stolen Valor cases and a lot of coverage veterans doing good in this world. They do have their own special brand of stalker who keeps filing frivolous lawsuits in one state after another against them that they invariably win but it costs them money to show up which is the stalker’s purpose really. Anyway check them out. http://thisainthell.us/blog/

  6. Another sage post, but I dropped sync on the connection to the young Matthew McConaughey picture…what did I miss?

    • Thanks for the feedback. That is a picture of him from the movie Dazed and Confused. He delivers a classic line where he asks the girl if she smokes weed. He says no and he says, “Be a lot cooler if you did.”

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