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Here’s the Thing ISIS, An Open Letter to ISIS

can of

I can do this right, now that I run a blog and all.  I can write an open letter to anyone in the world.  Its not that I would expect ISIS to disregard it if it were not addressed to them.  Nor, do I expect that since I addressed it to them, they will somehow get it routed to their email address.  However, it seems as if I am allowed to state that this is an open letter to ISIS and everyone gets that this letter is addressed to ISIS.  I doubt that I have any ISIS readers of the blog, but those random views from Yemen and Saudi Arabia that I have been getting as evidenced by my site stats, maybe someone knows a cousin or something and can hook me up and forward this on.

So here’s the thing ISIS.  You are not really good at this Caliphate thing. Now don’t get me wrong, I acknowledge you have made some successful blitzes in Iraq, but take it from America, we have been there, blitzed Iraq twice, not that big of a deal, don’t brag too much about it.  But none the less, here you are.  You got some cash, some weapons, some Humvees, good luck with those by the way, and you established a Caliphate.  A Muslim super state I guess, with some guy America roughed up in Iraq as the head.  Ok, here you are.  So what do you do now. Do you solidify your gains, establish some local governance and spend time recruiting and training a capable fighting force.  No, you don’t do that.  Instead, you piss off the one country who can actually fly over and bomb with as much ease as we expend playing Xbox.  Poor choice.

You start your Caliphate reign by crucifying Christians and killing kids.  Hey ISIS, you know we like kids here in America right.  Lots of us have them, have grown to love them and all that.  Also, there is a Church on every corner in America.  I mean, you could have played up the sectarian violence role and kept America unsure, but no, instead you went to clearly identifying yourselves as horrible human beings.  How bad are you?  We will drop thousands of dollars of bombs on you, just to kill 2 or 3 of you each time.  Seriously, we are about several trillion dollars in debt as a nation.  But your Caliphate national strategy was to piss us off enough that although we need every dollar, and we are seriously tired of Iraq, see my last article on ISIS, we think it is still worth it to come bomb you.

Maybe your strategy was to bank on the fact that America is weak and scared.  Maybe we are so politically divided, it will only be the conservative war hawks screaming for blood.  But then your next piece of trash move is to go and behead a journalist and send us a video.  Not only are you horrible human beings, but you are horrible political strategist.  You see, conservatives don’t really like the media for some reason.  Which means, Liberals love the media.  So now that you have executed in brutal fashion a freelance journalist, you have peace loving liberals screaming for your death.  Well that about sums it up.  In about a month, you have rallied the most powerful nation in the world to come and destroy you.  Well done ISIS, well done.

You see, now that your fate is sealed, your existence will be about as significant as that SIM City I build in 1993 on Super Nintendo.  Except instead of a tornado or a poorly mapped out traffic plan, its going to be the good ole Red, White, and Blue bombing you from above while Kurdish and Iraqi forces do all the work on the ground.  Just the way we like it.  But lest you think we are too scared to come do it ourselves, let me point you to 2003 thru 2013.  That’s the decade I like to call, the Decade we spent in your streets killing you on your home turf.

Platoon

In this picture you see frequently on Unprecedented Mediocrity, with 2nd Platoon in front of the cross swords, well, what you don’t realize is that behind those cross swords used to be about a 4 or 5 story Baath Party headquarters building that our air power turned into the pile of rubble you can hardly see behind us.  So we, even me personally have been there, and gotten the T-shirt. I literally have a T-shirt from it.

America is not scared and your cowardly acts only propel us to more violence.  I get how being raised Iraqi, you probably assume grown men are cowards since most of you in that area of the world seem to be.  However, spend a little time in America and you will realize the folly of your strategy.  For we have all seen the Godfather and just like in part III, when the Godfather said, “Just when I think I am out, they pulled me back in.”  Well, congrats ISIS, you formed your Caliphate and pulled us back in within a 30 day period.   At this point, America will consider it a total shame if we do nothing less than bomb you back to the stone age.  So on behalf of Unprecedented Mediocrity, my readers, and America, let me say, You are not coming for us, we have already come for you.  We are the hunters, not the hunted.

 

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Jeff Edwards

8 Comments

    • Thanks Josh, It was a fun post to write. Some issues just get me more worked up than others.

    • Thanks anonymous. I’m really about 3 weeks into this blogging process, so I’m more fascinated by all the things I don’t know. I had no idea blogging was this whole world that existed out there in the internet.

  1. What pisses me off the most is how countries like the UK look down on us for “once again” going back into a conflict that we’re not involved in and “ruining that country more than we already have”.

    …..
    Are we supposed to just sit back and watch or something? America sure as hell knows nobody else is going to help out. And they better not, because that would be very, very hypocritical.

    • I agree. i would say the UK if anyone should be extremely concerned with what is going on with ISIS. A lot closer for an ISIS terrorist to make it to UK than US. We just spend too much time there to do nothing. Too much blood spent by Americans to watch these guys run all over the place.

  2. Hey Jeff — First, Semper Fi from an old, old jarhead. After reading about politics enough to put me to sleep for more nights than I want to admit to myself, I suspect our Puppet …. er, President is enough of one that he will respond when the powers behind the curtain in Oz, D.C. decide what would be most beneficial to them & work their strings. It’s situations like this that brings them closest to exposure of what REALLY goes on there and how much our pathetic two-party system is not much more than ‘smoke & mirrors’ to keep the mass of sheeple divided (it’s not enough that a deep chasm is perpetual between ‘conservatives’ & ‘liberals’, and not the same entity). I could go on & on about the creatures inside the beltway, the short version is they’re narcissistic, greedy (operative word), cowardly pus-filled lawyers & their whores who won’t do ANYTHING for anyone else unless there’s something in it for them, regardless of the body count of our brothers and sisters. They couldn’t care less. From the triple chins on virtually every damned one, it’s blatantly obvious there’s not a short-hair of self-discipline or self-sacrifice in any one of them.

    In this ‘information (misinformation) age’ there are tons of extremely sensitive info available, some of which I have no idea how legit it is or how to verify it. I’ve attempted to interpolate the data in my brain group, leading my thoughts to this: supposedly, the spooks in Langley hooked up with the core group that is now I.S.I.S,; funded, trained & supplied them (you recognized some of their toys, some of which are ‘ours’) for their ‘help’ engaging the ‘enemy’. Now that’s over, history REPEATS itself and we’re facing yet another monster the spooks created …. again …. same game, different names & faces; Qaddafi, Hussein, bin Laden, on & on …. Remember, the people working the puppet strings will do something, sooner or later, that will benefit their end, not necessarily our country’s. We’ve heard the “No boots on the ground ” lie before ….

    There is no legit reason or justification for one more American military personnel to die over there. Period. Pull them all out, spread the nukes around (….fire for effect, here’s what ya get for fuckin with us, bitch ….) and let Aloha Icky-bra sort it out. What’s great about that is that there would likely be some leaders in a few too-big-for-their-britches countries whose sphincters would pucker like a gnat’s ass …. anybody wanna translate that for mr. putin?

    Nothing has really changed there in thousands of years …. why do we think we are gonna change it, even though it sounds noble (and idealistic)? We won’t …. but the puppeteers with smoke & mirrors will make the sheeple think we can, for their gain ….

    If we’re going to add on to that multi-trillion $ national debt, let’s do it taking proper care of our men & women in the military and veterans, not adding to our casualty list.

    • ooh Rah Carver. thanks for the comments. I agree that I don’t wish any more of our military to die over there. I equally agree that the politicians in Washington are more self interested than anything. Its just hard to see Iraq go the course that it is. I am against any type of ground troop build up, I would just like to see as many of these ISIS pieces of trash die as quickly as possible. They seem to be a special kind of evil. The world is definitely watching. I love when Marines from all generations comment on the blog. Great feedback.

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