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What Corporal Klinger Can Teach Us About Transgendered in the Military

With odd timing and enthusiastic tweeting, President Donald Julius Trump announced this morning that he was bringing back the ban on transgendered persons serving in the military. Well great, just when I thought my Facebook feed was back to cute kittens and food pics they pull me back in with the ferocious social media storm that followed. The ensuing conversation online has ranged from “good riddance to chicks with d*&ks” to “anyone who supports this is a transgenderphobe fascist.”  Since ration, reason, and discourse are scarce to be found on either side let me offer as much by putting up the Corporal Klinger solution.  That is, by following the model put forth by the hit show M.A.S.H.  For believe it or not, there is actually a path forward here that allows the inclusion of transgendered persons in the military while recognizing that men and women are created distinct, equal, and yet unique.   Embrace the uniqueness and you have a ready force.  Ignore the uniqueness and you have a disaster on your hands.  The choice is yours America.

No One Cares

Let’s get this out of the way first.  No one in the military really cares whether a man identified as a woman or vice versa.  That’s not even the argument here as much as certain progressive circles would try to make it be so.  Trust me, I’ve met a whole range of deviants in the Marine Corps and none had anything to do with gender identification.  No one really cares.  If any of my Marine brothers with whom I served came to me today and said, “Hey Jeff, I’m really a woman and I’m getting my giblets cut off.”  I’d first respond with ouch and then ask them if they wanted to go out for a totally platonic beer.  There is nothing those with whom I served could do that would diminish the very real experiences we endured together.

Unprecedented Mediocrity

Second, if while in Iraq one of them were to come up to me and say, “Hey Jeff, I’m really a woman when I get back I plan to get my giblets cut off” I’d likely respond in the following manner.  “Dude, I never saw that coming.”  Then, out of a self-admitted ignorance/phobia many of us have, I’d ask if that meant he was going to touch my penis.  He would respond, dude, no way, and I’d say cool then spend the rest of my deployment wondering what’s wrong with my penis that he didn’t want to touch it.

Point being, it is entirely possible for a transgendered person to serve and fight honorably in the United States Military so long as they understand the uniqueness of their own biology as it compares to the opposite sex.  This is the Corporal Klinger approach.  By all accounts on the show MASH, Klinger executed his duties faithfully and honestly.  Granted, Klinger was looking for a section 8 and likely not transgendered but let’s follow the example.  Sure sometimes he was wearing a dress, but he could often be seen with a gun manning his post.  What you didn’t see Klinger do is attempt to shower with the women or in any manner take his unique male genitalia and upset good military discipline with his tallywhacker.  Same as straight or gay soldiers, transgendered can do the job the same as any other if they in fact choose to do the job the same as any other as they currently are physically.  But if they insist on redefining the nature and implications of gender along the way it is not going to work.

Genitalia Matters

Men and women are created equal and yet unique.  The science is pretty conclusive here.  No matter how much you Star Trek lovers dream of an androgynous future StarFleet society the human reproductive organs will forever have certain sexual connotations.  And with sex comes a variety of moral, religious, philosophical, and ethical perspectives one must consider. It is not bigotry to identify and take into consideration the uniqueness of each gender and how we relate to one another in a community.  I can’t self identify as British and start driving down the left side of the road anymore than anyone can identify their own gender and change how our two unique genders interact in the public forum.  Starship Troopers is a Marine’s wet dream, not practical policy for the military unless you want to start issuing Algebra and History books to hold in front of male Marine crotches high school style.  

The military had already begun briefing female soldiers that they need to be prepared to shower with men who had identified themselves as transgendered.  But let me throw this little conundrum on you. Every time there is a terrorist attack and people start calling out the Muslims people like to point out there are Muslims faithfully serving in the military.  Fair enough. These Muslims though, they have particular religious beliefs on exactly how much of the female form they are allowed to see.  Think burkas, hijabs and ever popular beach attraction the burkini.  

So are you going to ask these Muslim men to shower with the naked female form because they identify as male?  Talk about a progressive nightmare!  I mean which tolerance takes precedent right?  We must accommodate the religious beliefs of the Muslim but then let naked women bodies shower right beside them because they say they are not women?  What to do? It’s equally wrong to ask 18 and 19-year-old girls in the military to shower with some 30-year-old dudes saggy balls because he may very well identify as a woman and is in transition.  Sorry folks, but it is not just genitalia.  What we do with our private parts matter in community.  

The Solution

If transgendered persons want to serve our nation then let them do so in a manner that respects the uniqueness of gender.  If you are a grunt and you want to dress like a woman on libbo and do woman stuff that is up to you.  But when it is time to do grunt stuff do grunt stuff like the gender that reflects your current physical reality.  The reason for the pushback is that those promoting these policies have failed to take this uniqueness into account. Yes there is a broader phobia or lack of understanding of trans people at play here.  But we can reconcile that over time.  What will never change is what this little boy below so succinctly summarizes.

Until you have transitioned, serve honorably just like Corporal Klinger did.  Walk your post, do your job, and respect the uniqueness of each gender.  Society is not ready to redefine the nature of gender and the military is by far the worst place to start with all that. The military could have easily said that transgendered people are allowed to serve and will not be kicked out on the basis of their identification.  But they didn’t stop there.  Showers, boot camp, barracks, job roles and the like were all being redefined to accommodate this small minority.  It was simply too much for a force designed to fight.  Transgender persons deserve respect and dignity as would any American or human.  They do not however have the unilateral right to redefine how sexual beings relate to one another in community. 

The simple question to ask is whether or not the decision will make the United States Military a more lethal force to our enemies.  Respect the uniqueness of gender and I think you can make it happen.  Transgendered persons serve honorably like Corporal Klinger and I think we can make this work.  Redefine the entire military to push this policy through?  I think not.  Trump for all his ignorance was right to put a stop to his policy as it has been outlined and rolled out thus far. No one cares about Corporal Klinger and no one cares if you are transgendered.  Everyone else is being coy about their feelings, but this is just honestly where I am at on it all.  Is it partially cave man like, yes, but let us at least not be afraid to have the discussion as to where we are rather than where society tells us we should be.  If you truly believe that there should be all these accommodations made in the military for it then by all means state your case.  I am genuinely interested in hearing your opinion. 

All Genders May Like the Unprecedented Mediocrity Facebook Page Below.

Jeff Edwards

11 Comments

  1. I say be whoever or whatever you want to be. Apparently the actual process takes quite some time and money. How many of these people will enlist just to have the taxpayer fund the process. Pregnancies already cause extreme Manning challenges for ships. I think these science projects would be on medical hold for the majority of a basic enlistment, then EOS with a hefty VA Disability rating. BTW Klinger was not transgender in the sense of this issue. Merely a cross-dressing heterosexual non-volunteer (draftee) trying to get released and not be punished in the process. In brief, get your own surgeries, then enlist as whatever your current plumbing dictates. Good luck with the mental evaluation.

  2. I just wanted to let you know that I stole much of this to share with a whole bunch of Trannies who were kicking my ass over my position on why Transgenders should not be serving in the MIlitary. I harbor no ill will towards these folks, I just think that if I would have had to put up with this shit when I was a young Marine Squad Leader, Cpl, 18years old. I probably would have shot myself.

  3. Sorry, I’m old school. I liked it better when homos and confused chicks/dudes were left out of our ranks. Sure, a lot of counties allow it but most haven’t won many wars lately.

  4. Klinger was a fictional character in a TV show. He thinks nothing of the present because he wasn’t real. In addtion he was trying for a discharge for being crazy.

    • Oh no he was not, Klinger was REAL and a total role model for space case,snowflake Trannys.

  5. The new policy that was briefed did not allow opposites to shower together until they had completed the process & were identified as the new gender by their doctor. Along those lines, is the same ideas u state here which is to serve honorably as u reflect ur current reality. And for those who are concerned about financing it, my argument about the medical costs is that its no different than the military that currently pays for boob jobs & tummy tucks. Get over it…

  6. Requirement #1 – are they willing to protect and defend the constitution even when this means killing another human?

    Requirement #2 – do they meet the other basic requirements necesssary to do #1?

    If requirement 1&2 are met —-

    Go kill the bad guy as I don’t give a rats ass how the ID beyond 1&2 above.

    • You may not give a rats ass however military personnel does
      Not have time to worry about all the unnessisary drama it causes

  7. Sorry disagree with you on this one Jeff, not do to homophobia or any other phobia. simply put they hav ea mental illness which statistics show puts them at a significatly higher risk of committing suicide. I do not need a person who already has issues guarding my back in a place where stress is probably a thousand fold higher than it is in the civilian world….it offers too many opportunities for serious problems to take root…is he/she going to fold under pressure due ot the circumstances? we have to ask this question daily when dealing with each other thats why the military in the past weeded out those with mental issues and used the basic training model to crack those that might crack easily…to weed them out. with all the special treatment given to the various entities now, you will have no assurance that you are going to war with the best that your country could provide. and on a side note we do not have enough money to treat the actual injuries and problem within our ranks as it stands…why would you spend health and care dollars on a pre-existing issue? flatt foot ring any bells? asthma ring any? sorry they are seriously flawed and should not be in. just as a person with flat foot or asthma are not allowed in (maybe for clergy or highly trained doctors they might (i do not know)) they should not let people in with a mental instability with a higher than average suicidal tendencies.

  8. Well said K MORGAN. There is another aspect here that no one is bringing up….some of these folks “identify” as non humans. I saw one that identified as a damn cat. “Sorry, I can’t shoot back at these people….it’s my bath time” **Proceeds to lick their arm and clean behind their ears**. Chuckle, sorry, had to throw a bit of humor in.

  9. What world do you live on. Members of the armed forces do care and do not want them serving unless they serve as the gender God made them. As for Klinger, that was nothing more than a TV show.

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