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Attention Sh*thole Citizens of the World, Welcome to America Sh*tholes

shithole nations

You’ll have to pardon me as I have always considered myself a Delta over an Omega Theta Pi. I’m referencing the classic movie Animal House here, so this may or may not ring a bell. Basically, the Delta’s were your average working class screw ups and the Omega’s were you elitist snobs. The Delta’s were best represented by John Belushi and the Omega’s by a young Kevin Bacon. The whole thing is like Revenge of the Nerds only more classic and funnier. Point being, I’m happy to welcome the hard working sh*thole to America. Neigh, I am proud to welcome hardworking sh*holes to America. You’ll recognize the famed inscription on the Statue of Liberty that reads, “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” Yes, send us the wretched refuse. I cannot speak for my President or my country, but as for Unprecedented Mediocrity I say “Welcome to America Sh*tholes.

Sh*tholes Know Their Country is a Sh*hole

I’m not a fan of Trump so you’ll find no excusing his words here. Nor do I feel a need to crucify a man over his choice of words. I’m not making it about race, but rather this is just a passionate defense of the average sh*thole. Having traveled the world, I can testify that sh*tholes do indeed exist. However, it takes a small mind to label an entire country or continent a sh*thole. No matter where I have traveled and in whatever sh*thole I might have found myself I’ve come to this realization. Where there be sh*tholes, there be good people. Hard working, industrious and ethical people. If you don’t believe that I’d challenge you as to just how many sh*tholes you have actually met. Or maybe that’s just the Omega in you talking and the Delta in me talking.

Truth be told every country has areas that could only be described as sh*tholes. I’ve been to China and it has an amazing culture and society. It also has some areas that can only be described as sh*tholes. I’ve been to Brazil and not just the fancy areas. I’m talking the favelas and streets. You know what you find there? Some of hardest working and nicest sh*tholes on the planet. Most sh*tholes are not confused about the status of their nation. Nor are they confused about the inexplicable opportunity America offers the sh*tholes of the world. Why do we want sh*tholes to come to America? Psst, they appreciate America more than many actual Americans. I’m not saying immigrants don’t need to adjust and assimilate, they do. Middle Eastern dudes lay off the cologne, it’s not that big a thing here. 

Give me a sh*thole immigrant any day over an entitled Omega like American living off the government whose only patriotic credential was popping out of the momma’s red, white and blue hoo ha. You see, at first it appeared Trump was just going after illegal immigration and there is case to be made about that. Then, he was targeting primarily Islamic countries and given the threat of terrorism there is a case to be made about that. Now, he is targeting your average sh*thole and that’s about where I draw the line. So exactly who is Trump ok with immigrating to America? Apparently Norwegians. 

I Thought We Just Didn’t Like Illegals?

Just so we are all on the same page you know we are no longer talking about illegal immigration and border security here. Even with the fancy smancy H-1B Visa that allows high-tech workers to stay in America. While these people worked at Google or wherever, their wives were given special visas so they could get jobs too while here. Trump has proposed eliminating those. So the call is “Hey hi-tech immigrants, come to America but your wife needs to stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.” So let’s just start narrowing down the parts of the world where Trump is ok with immigration shall we?

shitholes

I’ve never known an America that didn’t have a call to immigrants of the world as part of its central messaging. I’m not here to bash Trump as I have found that ineffective and there are many things he has done that I like. Slashing the Corporate tax rate was genius, although I think any conservative would have signed off and General Mattis at the helm of our war machine is beyond reproach. Even his tough rhetoric on the enforcement of immigration law I credit with deterring illegal immigration and is worthy of applause. But sh*tholes know how to work and they know how to party. Maybe I’m just a Delta for life and never wanted to be an Omega.

I’m just not okay with a future America without sh&tholes. It was one of the things that made us great and keep in mind, we are talking legal immigrants now. People who only came here when they got permission to come here. I’m not ok with that. As far as Trump’s choice of words it’s entirely less than helpful apart from offering insight into his world. Great men and women live in sh*tholes every day. Fellow veterans who fought for this country grew up in Sh*tholes and they were some of the hardest fighting sh*tholes on the battlefield. Doctors, engineers and professors all grew up in sh*tholes until they came to America. The story of a sh*thole landing on the boat with not a single dollar in his pocket and then thrived in America used to to be a source of inspiration. As for me I still see it that way. I can only speak for myself, but bring me your tired sh*thole, poor sh*tholes and average run of the mill sh*tholes as that is the only America I have ever known. All I can say on behalf of myself is Welcome to America Sh*tholes you are my kind of people.

 

Jeff Edwards

2 Comments

  1. all for shitholes from any country, as long as they enter legally with the intent to make something of themselves….if they come looking for a handout then send them back straight away.

  2. At this stage in the game I’m pretty much ok with shutting the door and putting a closed sign out. The statue of liberty’s boobs were once full of milk and now they are just kind of dried up, tired , and sagging. Let’s face it, she is probably in line to be protested and torn down anyway. I don’t think her inscription really meant give me your Syrian refugees and other degenerates who weren’t willing to take a stand in their own country. I guess as I approach 50 I’m more keen on my children reaping the benefits of our labor than some s!$&head from some s!?&hole. The President may not always say things politically correct but if he can get another term my retirement account may enable me to have cheese with my bologna sandwich when I retire.

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