Wooo! Said in classic Ric Flair voice. Sweet Bea Arthur the past few weeks have escalated quite quickly now haven’t they? If you were wondering about my semi-long absence from blogging for the past couple of weeks let me explain. You see, I’m the type of guy who walks into a room of people shouting and rather than attempt to be heard by shouting louder I just sit down quietly in the corner like a psychopath waiting for my moment. And in this brief moment where it appears the looney snowflakes have run out of windows to smash and before Trump tweets his next tantrum, let me just say this to all my friends and say it loud. I am not defined by my politics. I have been laughing my butt off at the amount of Facebook un-friending taking place over the past couple weeks. A wasteland of ruined friendships lays strewn about like the aftermath of a Civil War battle. And at some point you just have stand in awe at the absurdity of it. And since you all know absurdity is my muse, let us take a journey down this path together. For I’ll say it again, my politics does not define my being.
More Than a Friend
If you have followed this blog long enough, you know that I have a conservative lean while trying to still act like a moderate from time to time. But let me tell you about one of my good Marine buddies. He is a knuckle dragging commie leftist who reportedly was caught breaking in to the Kremlin so he could dry hump the embalmed body of Vladimir Lenin. Yeah buddy, I’m talking to you! But here’s the thing, I absolutely love the guy. Love the guy and now that I am all the way across the country from the brother, if I were to see him today it would look something like this.
I see his Facebook feed and he sees mine and our opinions couldn’t be more different on some core key issues. And at no point, I mean no point did I ever consider un-friending him because neither he or I are defined by our politics. More importantly, neither of us are snowflakes who simply cannot stand the sight of contrary thought. It’s just politics people and America is fast turning it into a Sunni-Shia squabble. Which is not really a squabble because everyone knows Abu Bakr is the rightful true successor. Suck it Shiites! I don’t really know what I’m talking about there.
Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump
Oh lord, another reason I haven’t wanted to type recently is because everyone wants to talk about Trump. Trump this, Trump that, and it’s getting old at this point. Particularly for someone who refuses to allow his entire being to be defined by his political positions on various issues. Despite being a conservative, I didn’t support Trump. However, now that he has won I fall into the camp of hopeful optimism about the man. I like some stuff he has done and have loathed others. So what does that make me in your eyes if you insist on defining me by them?
I like Trump’s Supreme Court pick and with that Trump supporters applaud me and welcome me into the camp. However, while sitting around the fire I mention that I think building a wall is a stupid ridiculous waste of money that won’t do anything to curb illegal immigration and you would think I brought salsa made in New York City as they yell, “Get a rope!” I am enjoying Trump’s tough talk via Mattis on reigning in an aggressive China. Welcome to the camp you say! But Trump’s words and actions on Russia have made me slightly curious if there is not an actual pee pee tape out there. Get a rope!
And here is the other thing Trump supporters, you are going to have to let those of us inclined to comedy make fun of the dude. I know you like him and I like parts of him, but the dude is President of the United States and not the prophet Muhammed. Comedic roasting of our politicians is an American right and if you rage against it that only makes you look silly. I think SNL is stupidly not funny and hasn’t been for years, but Alec Baldwin’s Trump impression is hilarious. If your support of Donald Trump has sent your sense of humor out the window then I feel sorry for you. You can love the man and laugh at him too because that is just the America way. Moving on from Trump.
If I have said anything that makes you want to unfollow this blog so far, please be sure to let me know in the comments that you are “unfollowing” so we can all make fun of you for feeling the need to tell me you are leaving. St. Felecia the Patron St. of Farwells wants to give you kiss good bye. Unprecedented Mediocrity is a place where thoughts and ideas of all walks of life are welcome. Guess what about everything I write to you. Well, it’s just like my opinion man. I’m not defined by my politics so get over yourself if you can’t get past someone’s opinion. Otherwise you’ll look like this lady every time I post an article.
Man, how classic is that outrage. Lady acting like Emperor Palpatine just reorganized the Senate into the first galactic empire. Although in her defense, we don’t have any evidence that Darth Trump is not just using his dark jedi powers to force grab her by the hoo ha at that very moment. In fact, watch the video again with that narrative in mind and it’s actually even funnier.
I’m not defined by my politics people as I hope nor are you. I am a Marine, a father, a husband, Christian, Southerner, human, veteran, lover of hot wings, Mississippi State fan, suck it Ole Miss, Titans fan, slayer of grammar, and blogger who has an increasingly worrisome affinity for Bea Arthur’s panties. Where I land on a particular issue is just like my opinion. I’d encourage you to remind you friends that your politics doesn’t define you, tag a buddy who is the complete opposite of you and let him know you still love him, and most importantly in the words of these famed philosophers, “Be Excellent to Each Other.”